ballerina blowup

I messed up this morning. Big time. It all started with waking up this morning and remembering it was Fast Sunday. Well crap--no cheerios for Ashlynn. But whatever, I got over of that. 10 hours later. But I don't know what it is about Fast Sunday, I just wanna be a freaking slumdog millionaire all day long. Actually, I don't even know what that means. But I do feel like being lazy all day and curling up in a warm ball where no one can find me. {kinda like a hide and go seek game. but just with myself} Annyywayys, this background information is very important believe it or not, because it ultimately led to my down fall. It was BECAUSE I was in a "a-little-kid-could-crap-on-me-and-i-wouldnt-care" mood, I justified my church outfit. What a flippin' disaster guys. I looked like some ridiculous version of a ballerina. I mean I looked like white trash. I told my self, "Oh, this is my 3rd week of church so I've already seen every hottie that this ward gots to offer, time to kick it like a true blue ashlanator." So, I slipped on that weird get up and threw my hair up in an awkward braid and went on my way. [side note: I thought I looked good walking out the door]

Well, seeing as I'm a college kid with no means transportation, I have to actually use those two things on the lower part of my body. I really hate using them...they're so weak and don't know how to get me places on time. Anywhoo, as I start walking, I decide that I officially HATE what I'm wearing. & more than that, I hate that everyone in the flippin' great Salt Lake can see what I'm wearing as I'm trekking down this bloody mountain. I could tell...everyone was staring at me. I just wish I could pull over every car and explain to them that this isn't me, and that I'm having an off day, but I knew I would probably get run over if I tried pulling something like that.

Whatever. I got over it. & just walked straight into the Lord's house ready to be spiritually fed. Guys, remember when I said earlier that I thought I had scouted out all the men in the ward and none of them were really good enough to pursue? WELL. I SWEAR SOMEONE IS PULLING A SICK JOKE ON ME AND SWITCHED MY WARDS WITH SOME WARD FROM ITALY WHERE MEAN WEAR BOW TIES AND SEXY FITTED PANTS!So here I am, Ballerina Ashlynn, prancing through the halls, trying  my very hardest to avoid the glimpses of Channing Tatums and Ryan Renoylds. Mother freaking blakjskdfhasdifkwnflkn! Gosh dang it. The whole time I could hear them thinking "she doesn't even go here.."--like I was trapped in a freaking She's The Man scene.

I'm a BadA Hunky Ballerina Dude. That's about all I got goin' for me.

 

So I'm sorry sexy men of the Bonneville 4th ward. But prepare for 'Babe of the Year' next week.

Cause i'm bringing my A-game.