Amy Fraughton Photography

I've been asked about who took my senior pictures a lot lately so, I thought I would do a post about it!

 

Guys. I LOVED my senior pictures. Exactly how I pictured them.

 

Amy Fraughton, my dear friend's mamma took them and dang she is good. I would recommend her a hundred times over. Wedding, senior pics, family pics, grad announcements or just some classic selfies to remind yourself of how sexy you are--this is the woman for the job!

 

Check her out on Fbook & her website!

 

 

 

You go Glen Coco.



recap

I blame finals for not blogging. So, here is my last couple weeks wrapped up in a pic-perfect post.

 

 

 

1. I went and saw the lovely lights at Temple Square. I will admit they're nothing in comparison to the lights seen at the Mesa Arizona Temple, but they were delightful nonetheless. I could have easily posted a cute and might I add, an attractive picture of myself but I thought, eh...better not.

{if you didn't catch the Pitch Perfect reference go put yourself in the corner}

 

 

2. Finals blew up in my apartment. Let it be known that I can withstand pretty much any household tornado, but this....this was just so wrong.

 

3. I got meself a boyfran. His name is Teddy and we snuggle.

 

4.Behold the most beautiful chip ever manufactured. I have named it the "ButtBoobie Chip"--the most prestigious chips of all chips. The chip has been preserved and hung on my wall to remind me of its beauty and perfection.

 

5. Salt Lake City would not stop dumping white stuff & I swear the weather was after me. Every time I turned, so did the direction of the wind. Needless to say, my eyelashes and tear ducts have frozen off.                 {yes, sometimes walking in the snow made me start crying}

 

6. I went this delectable burger restaurant in Sugarhouse where you ordered your food over the phone! AZ get with the program and start making restaurants more Ashlynn friendly already!

 

7. The Rocky Mountain Muggle Association hosted the Yule Ball in the Salt Lake City this year. It was snowy and magical all night! You want to know what surprises me though? That people are still surprised that Harry Potter is still my alternative life? Get over it people! I'm a flippin witch!

 

8. I finished my finals, I slept none and I hoped on the plane to come home. Some jerkfacekidmotherpoopknocker stole my window seat and I just about went blackgurl on her. I restrained when I realized that me sitting in the aisle meant I would be sitting next her suppaa delicious looking boyfriend . Aiight bro. We cool.

 

9. & then I'm here. Roasting next to the pool and remembering what it feels like to be human. I am blessed with friends and family here in Arizona and have missed them dearly.

 

Welcome home Ashlynn.

festivity at its finest

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

  

Since November 1st, Christmas music has been the only thing heard in my room. I have really big issues when it comes to this time of year because as soon as October rolls around, I'm like... CHRISTMAS TREE! NOW! Yes yes I know I should wait for after Thanksgiving but I can't help myself, I just get so giddy over those fourteen foot Pine Norway Beauties! {my family goes big}

 

But now that Christmas is ACTUALLY in unwrapping distance, I've complied a Christmas Bucket List that I am dead set determined to accomplish. I don't care what it takes, I won't make a fool of myself. After a late night phone call with an old friend, I realized the entirety of what a nerd I was in high school. I mean heck, people were skinny dippin at golf courses while I thought I was gettin' crazy by doing my math homework in pen.

 

you're supposed to do your math in pencil {devil smile}

 

So, without further adu {drum roll}

________________________________________________________________________________

[ashlynn's christmas bucket list]
-two-thousand twelve-

1. Watch every day of ABC Family's 25 Days of Christmas. It will happen.

 

2. Buy my dogs the following festive costumes



           Rocky: a snowflake

           Tazzy: an elf

           Pezia: the grinch

 

3. Wear ugly sweaters twice a week up until Christmas Eve. But afte that, I gotta be lookin' my best. Santa be commin'!

 

4. Try egg nog for the first in my life. No promises on keepin' it down though.

 

5.  Read two classic novels within the time period of being home. Any suggestions?

 

6. I will not eat out more than twice during the month of December. It's Christmas--we should all be cookin' and smellin' up the house with delicious goodness.

 

7. Go ice skating with someone of the opposite sex. {fingers crossed}

 

8. Build a snowman that has boobs. {cause I can do that here}{plus, it's america}

 

9. Go skinny dipping to make up for lost times. Even if I just go by myself... in my pool...

 

10. Play christmas tunes on the ivory for a whole day.

 

11. NOT THINK ABOUT SCHOOL!

 

12. Wear my elf ears religiously.

 

13. Snuggle up next to a fire/fireplace with a fine boii.

              {this is the most important one}

 

___________________________________________________________________________________

 

and the list continues! I will post more as they come, but I encourage you to come up with five to ten things that you would like to see come out of this holiday season. Make it one of the best ones ever, especially cause it is your last one!

 

For more information on the world ending and where you can buy survival packs, click here

 

http://www.december212012.com/

Happy Thanksgiving!

survival guide

Snow Symptoms: Extremely ugly and unattractive photos

Oh hello there! I realize that I haven't posted in about 2 weeks but I've been a busy bee. If it means anything, I've THOUGHT about blogging many times. 

 

My life, ladies and gents, is stupendously splendid! Although my toes have officially frozen off, boys think I'm a middle aged woman who is going through menopause because of the lack of time I put into my appearance, and my lips are consistently dry, my life is looking very optimistic.

 

I know I know, you really wanna date me now.

Get in line.

But seriously, snow. It's everywhere. And more than that, it is COLD snow. It kinda hurts.. But I realized that the reason for my suffering was because I was wearing something equivalent to a thong in sand storm--just inappropriate. That's why I thought I'd compose a user manual to staying toasty warm in a weather version of Edward Cullen. (sounds delightful don't it?)

 

Survival Guide to That White Stuff

• Have at least 2 lbs. of hot coco mix on you at all times. Scarfs and mittens mean nothing if you're intestine and bowels aren't given proper consideration.
• Stuff your bra with socks. Provides the females with two things 1) warm toasty puppies and 2) a healthy and boastful looking mid-section. Don't over think. Just stuff.
• Wear two pairs of underwear. It'll save your life.
• Don't brush your teeth with harsh toothpaste. You'll step outside and feel like someone is pouring nitric acid in your mouth. & flossing your teeth with nails.
• Don't shave your legs. Like ever.
• Don't do your hair cause Jack Frost is just going to screw you over anyways. If you wanna take it an extra step, just don't shower!
• Eat everything in sight. Really doesn't do much, but resisting food at this time of year is just stupid!
• EAT EVERYTHING PUMPKIN! Even if it looks gross, it is your moral obligation to take advantage of every seasonal item as possible. Don't be a panzy.
• And like wear a jacket.

Maybe I'll just drop out of college and write a book about why my advice is better than Dr.Phil's.

Endorse me.

fogging fantastic

                              

 

Hello! I come to you directly from my castle in the Land of the White! It started snowing last night and people were like, "Ashlynn, calm down. It aint' goin' to stick! It's not cold enough!" {30 degrees is pretty dang cold if you ask me!}Woke up, & what did my eyes behold? Baby white unicorns glazing the land!

I.went.butt.freaking.wild.

I went screaming through the apartment and woke up all my roommates! "SNOW SNOW SNOW, THERE IS REAL SNOW! THIS ISN'T A DRILL!" Apparently, when you're from Utah and Colorado, people aren't as hyped as Arizonians. Whatevs! White unicorns are totally worthy of a 6AM wakeup!

Next order of business:

I want you to ignore the part about us losing to Oregon State and focus on the part about fire and magicians. Funny story actually. So Crimson Nights is this huge party that is held once a month here at the U! It is a big deal and just about everyone in the school goes. Inflatables, rape floor err... I mean dance floor, and my personal favorite, free food. Anyways, this last one was a Halloween theme & it was thrillin' great. I'm apart of Freshman Council on campus, and so we were in charge of providing a Haunted House at Crimson Nights. It was in some creepy hallway where dining storage is stored and where creepers meet to have their weekly meetings. {i made that up} My group and I were in charge of the entrance! No biggy right? We got our decor up, scare on, and we were were ready to let those tiny baby kitties through their worst nightmare.Until I realized we were missing one thing.

the fog

 

You cannot honestly think you can have a decent haunted house without the basic element of fog? Please. So, I grabbed the machine and plugged that baby right in. For whatever reason, it wasn't pooping out any fog? So, what was Ashlynn's instinctive reaction to the problem? "Oh, I'll just turn it up higher!" The machine was now smoking something that wasn't fog. Within seconds, the entire fire alarm had reached all four corners of the 4 story who-knows-how-many-square-foot building! Let me tell yeah, I don't run, but boy did I run then. Everybody is pissed cause they had to evacuate and it's colder than Captain Kirk's nipples outside!

 

So, the front page of the university paper claims it was some cotton candy machine that went gangman style, but between you and I--if you can keep a secret--it was totally me.

 

Week 9 of college and I'm already a fog fighting, fire alarm starting badA with a rebelistic reputation who is commonly referred to as a fire magician.

 

Someone stop me before I get too cool.

 



a peculiar organ

Guys. I survived midterm week. I definitely underestimated its power to ruin my life. At this point, I'm running on six hours of sleep for the last three days. You should see my face as I'm typing this. I straight up look like a dementor got the best of me. {if you don't know what that is. leave my castle}

So seeing that I'm brain dead, I thought instead of thinking too hard, I would just tell you exactly what I've already thought. This, my dear friends, is no exaggeration, no dramatics, and surely no bull crap.

This is the mind of Ashlynn McCarter

{daily conversations and serious questions I've asked myself}

"Clearance level for that parking garage is 7'-3"? Sucks to be an ogre."

"I wonder if I tell the cashier that I had a dream about her she would offer me a complementary frosty?"

"Should I trip him to see if he turns into a decepticon?"

"Pumpkin smoothie?!? I wish whales could enjoy seasonal pumpkin items."

"I swear that soda can on the bus floor is a bomb."

"I think I'm going to start a conspiracy theory about my own life..."

"To celebrate completing an otter pop, I shall have another!"

"My dog has more friends than me."

"I'm looking at your face while you're talking to me, but I'm just laughing cause I think you look like a tea cup Chihuahua."

"At what point in my Harry Potter Fan Career am I eligible for a Nobel Piece Prize?"

"Why do all the Asians have nice cars?"

What is it going to take to get some Asian social status around here?"

"It's 40 degrees outside...should I wear my red or brown flip flops?"

and lastly

"Why aren't you selling any regular glazed doughnuts around here? Instead you dress em' up with too much sprinkles!"

So, if you thought you knew me before this post, you were very very wrong.

can someone please explain to me

one. Why I just clicked through 279 pictures of Miley Cyrus? I fell in love with her style. {watch out people. i'm about to start lookin' like a hobo.}

two. How Elena will pick between Stephan and Damon now that she is a flippin VAMP! {season 4 premiers tonight}{life resumes tonight}

three. Why a cup of carrots and cup of hot chocolate this morning has proven to be the best breakfast that I've had in the last three months?

four. Why I have so much bloody homework over fall break?

five. Why my body is so angry at me for eating twelve pumpkin cookies last night?

six. How Adele's single is equally as amazing as her last three. God bless that woman.

seven. Why I can never remember what is the singular and plural forms of woman? women? kill me.

eight. How missionary letters are the sole purpose of my existence?

nine. Why I tried to convince myself of dieting because I may meet Harry Potter one day?

ten. Why I'm wearing knee high socks? tramp.

eleven. Why my roommate decided to watch The Walking Dead for the last twenty-seven hours therefore producing terrible sound effects in my dream last night?

twelve. Whether or not Nick from New Girl is sexy?

thirteen. Why I'm always greeted by the following phrase, "ohh..it was lazy day for yeah wasn't it?"

fourteen. Why I'm seriously contemplating donating plasma on a monthly basis as my income?

fifteen. How all these flippin' asians sneak these ridiculously cute dogs on campus?

Goal for the week:

think more like an asian

when hailey came around the mountain

 

 

Can you guess who came in town?

 

  

My best frannnnn!! It was a weekend full of fun, laughs, broken ankles and cold noses! It sucks that I didn't GoPro {shout out to Elder Smith in Aussie} the entire weekend because quite frankly, it ain't something you can put into words. Sometimes we talk, sometimes we don't, but more often than not, we watch movies. A lot a lot alot aaaloottt of movies. In fact, we, the dynamic duo, would argue that going to the movie theatre to see just ONE movie, is simply ridiculous. In fact, if you aint' there to watch at least TWO movies, you should probably go home. So, yes, we saw Pitch Perfect and Taken 2 with only a 20 minute break between the two. And let me tell yea..

 

IT WAS BLOODY BRILLIANT!

 

Not only did both movies equally satisfy but the company did as well. Nothing like buddies and Fat Amy getting shot by a burrito. You know, there is one thing I appreciate about Hailey and that's she keeps me in check. Example #9873 how she saved me from total embarrassment and social suicide in my new home town. I will admit that recently, I've grown attracted to men with long hair. Not like the hair that has "wings" coming off their hat, but like shoulder length. I know. What's happening to me? Eh oh well, if President Obama advocates change, so shall I!! {not} Back to the story, there we were, sitting in the movie theatre when this long hair haired beauty comes walking up the stairs! Boo ya! Eye candy! Well the closer he got, the more excited I got so I eagerly showed Hailey, my partner in crime, the creature I had discovered.

 

There is nothing more heartbreaking than to have your best friend tell you that your hunk of man candy is a straight up woman.

 

A fail at its finest.
{movies theatres are dark yea know}

 

So, this is to you HailBails! Thanks for always reminding me where my sanity lies! & telling me when I'm not funny. But more than anything, sippin' on  ICEE's when it's 50 degress outside. After all, ICEE's are the most important food group.

 

Come again!

 

 

 

 



life lessons & sleep residue

What a beautiful sabbath ain't it? Well, for starters, I sure hope you love my new blog format as much as I do! I seriously have been spending a week trying decide what I really wanted, and so when I finally came to terms with what I wanted, it was a beautiful {& slightly loud} party in ashlynn's hizzhouse. I still have a little {lot} more I want to add, but I'm almost there!

As for this little nugget of wisdom above me, I hope that if you haven't haven't had a reality check today, that you will now because man, ain't that that truth. When I read this last night I pretty much had a flashback of my entire life and realized that I let perfectly perfect moments slip right through my fingers because of the other worries that I deemed more important that day. Heck, I probably turned down something that would've led me to an ice-cream date with a hottie as my reward! But the point is, even if you're not religious, live your life dawg. Don't be critical of yourself and others, and more than anything, don't convince yourself that a little of something is nothing at all. How blessed we are to have even a little while others have none.

Just some food for thought. {figurative food}{it's fast Sunday folks}

 

And lastly, your ashlynn laugh of the day. So, here I am, sitting in Sacrament, trying to be in tune with the spirit when I hear this ridiculous groan come from my right. I ignored it & let it be. Another 5 minutes went by of Ms.Cry-my-make-up-off-every-fast&testimony meeting and I was convinced this was to be a fairly normal sacrament meeting here at the Bonneville Single's Ward. Nope, spoke to early. 

The dude who had been passed out next to me for the last 20 minutes, finally woke after he was forced to because he was now choking on the sleep residue in his throat. {well that's what it sounded like} This dude had one ferocious snore that brought all eyes to him. You know that face of a toddler when his momma asks him if he went poddy in his big-boy-briefs? Well, imagine it on a full grown mans face. {who has a beard} No one could help it, we all laughed. And as for me, I laughed even more than those fools until I realized that if I kept it up, I would slip one of my ridiculous laughs that would proceed to ring through the entire 3-story building. So, I swallowed it and saved it til now. & frick. It's still funny.

 

Bless the loud sleepers. We love you dearly.d

email

If you ever have questions, comments, concerns or you just wanna tell me a joke, hit me up on my email!

 

mccarter.ashlynn@gmail.com

ten reasons to love today

Ah, the simple joys of a decent Wednesday.

1) I did my laundry! Huurrahh! My roommate was definitely not lovin' me so much these last couple weeks with that laundry bag continuing to fill and then eventually overflow. So, if you're reading this Natalie, I'm sorry. But I dare you go sniff my delicate drawer--that place smells like a rainstorm.

2) I had my first cup of hot coco for the chilly season! {excited for santa smile} Hot Coco is one of my favorite things about the holiday season and I think it's cause of my daddy. He makes the finest hot coco around and knows just how to bring that Christmas cheer into our home. So needless to say, when I snuggled up in my bed, with the window open and the fall breeze slipping through...I was in my happy place.

3) I almost rode my bike. Yeah, I know..yippee? But that's sayin' a lot. Maybe tomorrow I'll go for ride. {if I can remember my bike lock code?} {dad?}

4) mumford and sons. Need I say more? My goodness their new album makes me wanna go on a hott date and look off into the stars. If you don't already have their album, get it. It shall surely bring a new light into your eyes.

5) I made it through the entire day without a nap. And you're probably wondering why I think this is such a big deal? Well, guys I  have been having a big issue lately. I'll go to classes, come home, pass out for 4-5 hours, eat dinner, have fun, and then when midnight rolls around, I start my homework. I know, stupid and unhealthy. So I'm kickin' the habit and plan to be in bed in the 25 minutes! {chest bump} one adult point for ashlynn.

6) It is officially t-minus 7 days til my best friend comes to the Land of Zion. I'm so excited! I already know everything I'm going to show her. But before we get all "productive" with our time and stuff, we are watching Moulin Rouge and eating Otter-Pops. This is going to be epic guys.

7) So, it's not official but kinda official. My cousin mayyy be gettin' hitched soon and I'm totally planning her wedding. I really want it to be Hogesmade Theme...but I think that may be a no go. {you best believe Harry Potter will be incorporated in my wedding--if my not my husband}

8) I ran, I repeat RAN to catch a bus.
         confession: i haven't ran once while being here {almost 6 weeks}
bottom line, I think I lost a couple pounds. which is TOTALLY plausible and TOTALLY true.

9) I saw someone fall off their skateboard. & it was really funny

10) & lastly, I was able to tickle the ivory today. Something I haven't been able to do in awhile. How nice it was to sit down and not have to think--just play.

today was good day.

i hope yours was equally as delightful. 

construction and chicken pox

First and foremost, please forgive me as I embark on a journey of remodeling and sassifying my blog. I thought it was about time that I upped my game. {kinda like my love life} My dear friend, Hailey will have to be patient as I turn down her every suggestion if I don't think it's weird enough. In saying that, if you have any suggestions, comments, concerns or insults, let me know! Leave a comment or hit me up the FB! I'm here to please you.

but me more.

 

But guess what? It's fall here in The Great Salt Lake and I couldn't be more ecstatic. Honestly, what a beautiful place to be. {leaves actually change colors here} & it rained this morning!! Not like post-haboob rain {look it up}, but like clean, fresh mountain rain! Hallejewyah! What a sight. Except for the fact that it already in snowed in the mountains behind me...which is bad sign. Seeing as my flip flops are my winter shoes.

 

What can you expect? I'm an AZ girl that swims in the winter!

 

Lastly, I think I have chicken pox. The inital symptoms match up and I've never gotten them before! I'm scared out of my bloody mind. I mean the symptoms could probably resemble a basic cold with a touch a stress but I'm convinced these are the early stages of death. So if this is in fact, my last post, please have a holographic version of Whitney Houston sing at my funeral. {preferably 'i will always love you'}

 

Just a quick little update to tie you over until I can blog tomorrow with a couple of stories! Cause I actually gotta go do my laundy... I haven't done it in a few weeks and I'm on my last T-shirt and panties. So, I give you my word that tomorrow, will be the day I give yea reason to laugh.

 

{see what I did there}

 

redemption

Today was the day Ashlynn's title as 'Babeasorus' was reclaimed.

 

That's right, this hott mama is back in business. Last weeks mishap at church {refer to previous post} was a mere thing of the past and now I'm skipping straight to my celestial marriage. Yup, it's going to happen. I was going to take a picture of how hott I looked today, but I'm not really the cocky type? I mean I'm beautiful, but I don't want to offend anyone? Can someone please tell me why I am so kind? please.

 

Church was splendid for two specific reasons. One, I recieved numerous double takes and two, they were serving fajitas as a splendid after-jesus-time snackaroo! If you want me to be frank, my double takes probably lost all their credibility after I downed a burrito in under a minute. It was so bad that the guy sitting next to me asked me if I was going to eat.

 

That awkward moment when you have to tell him that you ate it while he went to grab a napkin.

 

What can you do? I mean I guess you could lie and say "oh yeah. totally going to eat!" and head over for seconds. Honestly, that would've been a win-win situation if I thought of this earlier. I'm for sure going for this next time. I'll get skinny girl points and guiltless seconds. The price is right!

 

Okay I would be remiss if I didn't do a little shout out to my beloved Utes for playin' hecka good game last night and reppin' the red YET again. {55-10 win against the Cougs since the beginning of the rivalry. no biggs} But what a beautiful performance by my delicious looking black men that can play 15 minute halfs in an hour! Huzzah football!

 

But ultimately, it wasn't just us that thought we should win the Holy War.

 

 

Yup. I went there.



nanna bananas

Okay so if I could give any wise words to future parents {cause I'm so knowledgeable?}, it would be this.

Having two girls who are 22 months apart will seem like a pretty crappy idea for the first 15 years of their lives. And there is nothing you can do to create harmony between the two. Sharing clothes...fighting over bra sizes...getting pissed to just get pissed...the younger one getting angry for the older one being right...the older one getting angry when she realized she was wrong..little one gloats...I mean the whole two-bit! It is terrible! I would argue that probably 85% of that 15 years is full of contention and fork throwing at the dinner table {it happened}. But something really funny happens when the younger one finally grows up and the older one is leaving the nest.

 

You actually like her.

Heck! You even think she is funny! So. Today I miss my little sister. It wasn't til I was hiking up the bloody mountain tonight that I realized that I missed that little brat. She freaking understands me. In fact, I'd say she understands me the bestest. {she likes jokes about people getting severely injured} So, this one is for my little sis Bre. Miss you & I can't wait to be old farts together where we will still think we're flippin' hillar. We'll probably still have an instagram but with no followers--but we won't care. Cause we got eachother!

Love yea sis.

 

 

 

 

 



buttholes

You know, because I aint' yet one of those cute bloggers that got their hott hubs or adorbs little children to brag about, the only thing I really got is my friends and my dogs. So today I thought I would shed a little light on one of my new friends Chase.



His sassy face.
 

Okay well other than the fact than he is a sexy fella, he does this one thing I've noticed over the last month {yeah a month! Can you believe it? I've been doing my own hair & feeding myself for a WHOLE month}Anywhoo. Back to Chase. This kid is flippin' hillar. & let me tell you why.

He says butthole every 5 seconds.

 

I mean go ahead. Say it. BUTT-HOLE Did you say it out loud? You laughed didn't yea? Giggled maybe? Okay you at least smiled like you had a secret huh? Well, that's because you said butthole. hahahahha butthole. & lucky for me, I have a friend who says it religiously. There hasn't been one time that he said it & I didn't laugh. Let me give you a couple of typical scenarios when Chase finds butthole to be appropriate.

 

"HOLY BUTTHOLES"

 

"He is sucha butthole! Butthole..."

 

"buttholes..." {for when he is sad}

 

"I look like a butthole"

 

"YOU look like a butthole"

 

"It hurts like a freaking butthole!!"

 

"dude! ugh! buttholes!"

 

"this place reeks of butthole."

 

In this post, I've said butthole 16 times. and it has gotten funnier every time hasn't it? Well the I guess the point of this post is for me to encourage you to take advantage of the simple things in life and just laugh.

 

like buttholes.

 

 

have buttholistic weekend!

 



ballerina blowup

I messed up this morning. Big time. It all started with waking up this morning and remembering it was Fast Sunday. Well crap--no cheerios for Ashlynn. But whatever, I got over of that. 10 hours later. But I don't know what it is about Fast Sunday, I just wanna be a freaking slumdog millionaire all day long. Actually, I don't even know what that means. But I do feel like being lazy all day and curling up in a warm ball where no one can find me. {kinda like a hide and go seek game. but just with myself} Annyywayys, this background information is very important believe it or not, because it ultimately led to my down fall. It was BECAUSE I was in a "a-little-kid-could-crap-on-me-and-i-wouldnt-care" mood, I justified my church outfit. What a flippin' disaster guys. I looked like some ridiculous version of a ballerina. I mean I looked like white trash. I told my self, "Oh, this is my 3rd week of church so I've already seen every hottie that this ward gots to offer, time to kick it like a true blue ashlanator." So, I slipped on that weird get up and threw my hair up in an awkward braid and went on my way. [side note: I thought I looked good walking out the door]

Well, seeing as I'm a college kid with no means transportation, I have to actually use those two things on the lower part of my body. I really hate using them...they're so weak and don't know how to get me places on time. Anywhoo, as I start walking, I decide that I officially HATE what I'm wearing. & more than that, I hate that everyone in the flippin' great Salt Lake can see what I'm wearing as I'm trekking down this bloody mountain. I could tell...everyone was staring at me. I just wish I could pull over every car and explain to them that this isn't me, and that I'm having an off day, but I knew I would probably get run over if I tried pulling something like that.

Whatever. I got over it. & just walked straight into the Lord's house ready to be spiritually fed. Guys, remember when I said earlier that I thought I had scouted out all the men in the ward and none of them were really good enough to pursue? WELL. I SWEAR SOMEONE IS PULLING A SICK JOKE ON ME AND SWITCHED MY WARDS WITH SOME WARD FROM ITALY WHERE MEAN WEAR BOW TIES AND SEXY FITTED PANTS!So here I am, Ballerina Ashlynn, prancing through the halls, trying  my very hardest to avoid the glimpses of Channing Tatums and Ryan Renoylds. Mother freaking blakjskdfhasdifkwnflkn! Gosh dang it. The whole time I could hear them thinking "she doesn't even go here.."--like I was trapped in a freaking She's The Man scene.

I'm a BadA Hunky Ballerina Dude. That's about all I got goin' for me.

 

So I'm sorry sexy men of the Bonneville 4th ward. But prepare for 'Babe of the Year' next week.

Cause i'm bringing my A-game.

college

Watch this commerical again. Cause I know you've seen it hundreds of time.

 

 

Great huh?

 

Now watch what happens when you don't want to do homework.

 

 

 

College.



wet boxers

I'll make this quick, but if you're lucky, you'll walk away with a good story to share at the dinner table.

Okay so for starters picture this.

 

Well actually, you don't have to picture it because I have a picture of it! So just looky there! So, here I am... snuggled up in one of the famous womb chairs in the library {more on those later} minding my own business. Now with these womb chairs it is not unusual to see people unconscious and completely passed out in them. Once again, just sitting there, working on my homework when this dude springs up so high I swear he be hittin' the flippin' ceiling. All of a sudden this look of complete disgust comes across his face as if he just crapped his pants. This poor dude thought he was late for his class. He looked at his watch and started CRYING! Hahahaha this kid was so screwed up. He double checked his watch reassuringly and immediately passed out.

I'm still convinced he sitting there with crap in his panties.

 

 

ashlynn. i'm not your mom.

I think that if I don't get this up on a weekly basis, someone is going to shoot me in my sleep. No joke. I have had threats. Especially after I screwed up & didn't post on Monday like I said I would.

So I'm sorry. But I'm trying to get an edchamacation? Sue me!

Anyways, finished my first full week of college & this is how I'm feeling.

Yippee kaayyy ayyy! I love 15 hours of homework with all my heart--I really do. I sometimes wonder if my teachers know that I give up my life for them? Cause I do. Me roommate, Natalie, said something really wise the other day.

 

"Ashlynn! At this point, you're going to college because you WANT to!"

Oh crap guys...she is right. So wise she is ain't she? But rather than talking in inconvenient paragraphs, I'm going to do bullet points. Because I like bullet points & they like me.

my week in a nutshell

• My momma sent me a whole thing of banana bread and I ate all of it within 24 hours. Like, I don't even remember eating it?
• I PETTED A DOGGIE! Some chick snuck her pups onto campus '& oh boy did I take advantage of that. I petted those doggies until she told me to stop. But I didn't stop. I have problems.
• I watched Pride & Prejudice 2 times in 12 hours. I told my self that I would do my homework after I watched the 2nd time, but I decided bathing for the week would probably be better.
• My roommate eats Top Romen everyday. So guess what our dorm smells like? College.
• I call my roommate Mommy. Cause I miss my mommy.
• Someone made a BYU joke at the pulpit at church & I've never heard such laughter in my life. I suppose you bleed red or they'll prove your blood is red {like hurt you. get it?}
• I fell down the stairs again. My ankle is starting to swell. Girls Camp 2010 all over again. Anyone anyone?

Anywhoo. I was totally kidding about analyzing my new friends. I would totally look like a total..like brat? (I've met roughly 20 chicks that talk that way while I've been here & I'm going to pull the hair of the next one. It's going down) But bottom line. I lovin' my new friends. They are all so dang unique.  I'll post more individual stories later on, but enjoy my pics for now! And no, they still have not gotten used to my laugh.

 

 



 



 



 

 

 As you can see, we've got it all. Someone of them aren't pictures cause they have been running away from my camera... but you know

 

Well frick guys. Looks like I may not be a social reject after all?

 

 

PS> No but seriously. My next post is going to to blow your mind.

 

PSS> Check out my dear friend's blog. She is super insightful. http://iharpyou.wordpress.com/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Guys, I think we're acting like freshman"

College. Who knew this was going to be the best years of my life? Okay, I did. But I certainly wasn't expecting to fall this hard in love with college! The people...the diversity...the opportunities... & above all, the new babe pool! Yeah you heard me--new babe pool! Men. EVERYWHERE. Wanna know the best part about them? They have faces and bodies that resemble Grecian Gods. Yummy mummy. Speaking of mothers... I miss my Mommy. I really miss eating food.

So as for the post title and first week of college, boy do I have stories for you! To start off, I thought maybe I would tell a story that will give you a quick flash back of me if you can't remember who I am. So. I'm just chillin' in the bathroom {whatever. fairly normal} and I'm just setting up my cute bathroom accessories. Well, trash can placement was next on my bathroom to-do list! A simple and easy task right? Just place the dang trash can on the floor Ashlynn? Well no, I had to make things ten times more complicated and painful for myself by hitting my head on the corner of the metal shelf on my way down. Well, crap there came the tears. I don't think I've ever been in more pain. I thought for sure I had a concussion. Or maybe I was having a heart attack? It kinda felt like liver fail too... anyways. It sucked & I walked around with a goose egg and bruise on my forehead for the first week. Instead of signing up for social suicide with that ridiculous story, I told people that I survived a shark attack. You can find the footage on tonight's special of Shark Week on Discovery Channel at 7/9c. This is no lie.

Okay maybe I'll only tell one story and stick to some of my philosophical discoveries I've come to realize this last week. I discovered, for one, that you have thousands of choices to make in a day, and even one wrong choice will effect the remainder of the choices for the day. Example: You get that second bowl of ice-cream at lunch, you will throw up at your first college dance party? Hey it happened to me, it can happen to you! So lesson time I suppose!

Lesson #2: Eating that second bowl of ice-cream will always be worth the bodily function humiliation.

Lastly, I learned that where ever you go, you will find the coolest of people and the worst of people at the same time in the same time. You find the posers, the drunks, the pure, the shy, the obnoxious, the dedicated, the self-consumed, the beautiful, the strange, the weak, the strong and the ones who are still trying to find themselves in this crazy game of life. I'm willing to bet that where ever YOU go, you will find this same demographic and then some. Who ever you are and where ever you are going in life--decide now that you will be the one that decides to stand above the crowd of cliche'. Be better than your good, and stronger than your strongest. Limit nothing and reach for those famous stars. I hear they never let yea down.

Surround yourself with people that remind you of the goodness and sweetness of a mothers moist cho-co-choc-co chip cookie. Maybe even a glass of milk to accompany that good company?

Did I get deep? I sure did! Take it all in folks! Ashlynn is changing the world with her food analogies & no one can stop me!


PS> Look for the special post tomorrow where I take my new friends and anazlye them pubically for the world to see! You won't want to miss it!
PSS>They're beautiful human beings indeed. So boys. I WILL be posting pictures.

water pressure & thunder

Yesterday, I was a mere mortal living in Gilbert, Arizona with all but the best of times riding with me in the backseat of my Volks-Wagon Bug & today, unfortunately, I'm still a mortal, but instead I'm bathing in the beauty of the Great Salt Lake with nothing but a meal plan & my collectors wand. I feel like I've under-gone surgery and have been rewired to a completely foriegn life. {Total Recal anyone?} But it's strange...not feeling the same... I feel....bloated. Yeah, that's what I feel. This freaking "eat-crap-food-until-I-can't-feel-or-see-my-toes-thing" is not going to last very long! I'm gunna have to lock up my food and have my roomate come up with the password--yeah I'll do that.

Speaking of roommates.. Haven't meant her yet! I'm sitting on my bed eagerly waiting her arrival so that I can apologize for the lack of space and control I’ve given her in our (my) room. As for my suite roomies, one girl moved in and out in 5 minutes & the other is moving in as we speak! She is a local folk and seems like spunky nice girl. Exxxcceppptt for the fact that her motha was wearing a Lakers shirt. I made sure to let her know that I was still pretty pissed about her stealing my main man Nash. Come to find out she doesn't like Lakers and doesn't even know who Nash is....awkward. So, lesson number one I'm teaching in this blog?

Lesson #1: If you don't know who Steve Nash is. Figure it out.

Anywhoo. This will be my journal for the next 4-10 years of college so I suggest you subscribe. Cause let's face it. I'll have my own TV show pretty soon because I'm freaking hilarious.

In my head.

& that's all that matters.

                                                                                                           opening dorm for first time

Sendin' love and morphine to those enduring those long hot AZ days.

<oh. & as for my title. there is no water pressure in my shower & I can hear every step of the seemingly obese human being above me. love it.>

but who's counting?

You know, there is a lot of things that I would do a solid piece of cheesecake. Especially, a nice slice made by my mother herself. I mean, honestly, how does she get it so moist? Anyhoo. Seeing as I'm down to 28 days til' college departure, I thought it seemed most appropriate to have a blog up in order to stalk me over the next 4-10 years {we're shooting for 4}.

University of Utah folks.

University of freaking Utah.

Ah, aint' that a beauty? Who knew that a high school addict like myself would find herself heading into the real world...with her shoes on the right feet! I mean come on America! What a blessing, indeed... But yeah, 28 days! Whoohoo! Doin' the shopping, doing the Fbook roommate stalk seshin's and of course, the "working" part. Let me make this realll clear. Work sucks--at least mine does. 60 hrs a week later, I find myself simply wanting to do something severely immature to make up for my lack of a personality during the day. An office can sure suck the life out of you. Nonetheless, I SHALL SURVIVE!

Until the fateful day arrives, I will continue to bask in this lovely 129 degree weather, play simple yet very advanced games of fetch with my furry friends and indulge in the free food provided by father! What a joyous time to be Ashlynn McCarter!

Well, the Hermonie&Ron kissing soon is coming up soon so I must tend my attention elsewhere. Hopefully you enjoy my smartie-pants attitute and optimistic view on life! Ha.

If you're looking for some REAL laughs, check out my older blog as a wee ameature. Wow, I was odd. Funny? Hyes. But odd  http://thatcrazysonofagun.blogspot.com/ 

PS>Forgive the formating issues.

I bid thee farewell. {why the crap am I talking like this?}