airport dialogue

Currently I'm sitting in the airport and I thought I would just disclose some of my thoughts..

1) Hey dude exactly 7 seats away from me, I think you're WAY hott. And I really hope that you're Seat B so I can show you my list of reasons why we should get married.

"Our children would be beautiful" would be at the top of the list.

2) Girl in cosmic looking jacket that scooted closer to my man, back off. Yeah that's right, look over here so my jealousy can become apparent to you and your explosion of color jacket.

3) Oh wait she's got a ring. We good.

4) Hey chik wearing the pants that I have in my suitcase, I look better in them.

5) Oh my handlebar mustache. Yess please.

6) This carpet is perfect for walking on.

7) FRENCH REVOLUTION MUSTACHE! OMG THIS PLACE REEKS OF FABULOUS FACIAL HAIR!

8) Oh crap I just made eye contact with the hubs but I was yawning. I LOOK SO UGLY WHEN I YAWN. I look like I just stuffed a small infant down my throat.

9) She's is pregnant and so cute. That should be illegal. I'll go grab my sweatpants out of my suitcase for you to have. What color would you like hun?

10) Dude resting entire upper body on your beer belly, I wish I was you.

11) I'm craving a snickers that doesn't cost any money. Where can I find that airport person?

12) I sure hope none of these people are carrying a bomb.

13) BYU sweatshirt dude just entered the room. Party foul.

14) I wonder how many people I could convince that I'm made of plastic.

15) Ew whoever fluffed, I'm straight up calling the cops

16) I forgot to shave my legs this month

17) VELCRO SHOES! YOU OWN MY HEART!

18) Unless you're offering my a burrito, don't talk to em

19) OMG! JENESSA WOODS JUST WALKED IN! THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER!

20) AND FOR HEAVENS SAKE CONTROL YOUR CHILD!