fogging fantastic

                              

 

Hello! I come to you directly from my castle in the Land of the White! It started snowing last night and people were like, "Ashlynn, calm down. It aint' goin' to stick! It's not cold enough!" {30 degrees is pretty dang cold if you ask me!}Woke up, & what did my eyes behold? Baby white unicorns glazing the land!

I.went.butt.freaking.wild.

I went screaming through the apartment and woke up all my roommates! "SNOW SNOW SNOW, THERE IS REAL SNOW! THIS ISN'T A DRILL!" Apparently, when you're from Utah and Colorado, people aren't as hyped as Arizonians. Whatevs! White unicorns are totally worthy of a 6AM wakeup!

Next order of business:

I want you to ignore the part about us losing to Oregon State and focus on the part about fire and magicians. Funny story actually. So Crimson Nights is this huge party that is held once a month here at the U! It is a big deal and just about everyone in the school goes. Inflatables, rape floor err... I mean dance floor, and my personal favorite, free food. Anyways, this last one was a Halloween theme & it was thrillin' great. I'm apart of Freshman Council on campus, and so we were in charge of providing a Haunted House at Crimson Nights. It was in some creepy hallway where dining storage is stored and where creepers meet to have their weekly meetings. {i made that up} My group and I were in charge of the entrance! No biggy right? We got our decor up, scare on, and we were were ready to let those tiny baby kitties through their worst nightmare.Until I realized we were missing one thing.

the fog

 

You cannot honestly think you can have a decent haunted house without the basic element of fog? Please. So, I grabbed the machine and plugged that baby right in. For whatever reason, it wasn't pooping out any fog? So, what was Ashlynn's instinctive reaction to the problem? "Oh, I'll just turn it up higher!" The machine was now smoking something that wasn't fog. Within seconds, the entire fire alarm had reached all four corners of the 4 story who-knows-how-many-square-foot building! Let me tell yeah, I don't run, but boy did I run then. Everybody is pissed cause they had to evacuate and it's colder than Captain Kirk's nipples outside!

 

So, the front page of the university paper claims it was some cotton candy machine that went gangman style, but between you and I--if you can keep a secret--it was totally me.

 

Week 9 of college and I'm already a fog fighting, fire alarm starting badA with a rebelistic reputation who is commonly referred to as a fire magician.

 

Someone stop me before I get too cool.

 



a peculiar organ

Guys. I survived midterm week. I definitely underestimated its power to ruin my life. At this point, I'm running on six hours of sleep for the last three days. You should see my face as I'm typing this. I straight up look like a dementor got the best of me. {if you don't know what that is. leave my castle}

So seeing that I'm brain dead, I thought instead of thinking too hard, I would just tell you exactly what I've already thought. This, my dear friends, is no exaggeration, no dramatics, and surely no bull crap.

This is the mind of Ashlynn McCarter

{daily conversations and serious questions I've asked myself}

"Clearance level for that parking garage is 7'-3"? Sucks to be an ogre."

"I wonder if I tell the cashier that I had a dream about her she would offer me a complementary frosty?"

"Should I trip him to see if he turns into a decepticon?"

"Pumpkin smoothie?!? I wish whales could enjoy seasonal pumpkin items."

"I swear that soda can on the bus floor is a bomb."

"I think I'm going to start a conspiracy theory about my own life..."

"To celebrate completing an otter pop, I shall have another!"

"My dog has more friends than me."

"I'm looking at your face while you're talking to me, but I'm just laughing cause I think you look like a tea cup Chihuahua."

"At what point in my Harry Potter Fan Career am I eligible for a Nobel Piece Prize?"

"Why do all the Asians have nice cars?"

What is it going to take to get some Asian social status around here?"

"It's 40 degrees outside...should I wear my red or brown flip flops?"

and lastly

"Why aren't you selling any regular glazed doughnuts around here? Instead you dress em' up with too much sprinkles!"

So, if you thought you knew me before this post, you were very very wrong.

can someone please explain to me

one. Why I just clicked through 279 pictures of Miley Cyrus? I fell in love with her style. {watch out people. i'm about to start lookin' like a hobo.}

two. How Elena will pick between Stephan and Damon now that she is a flippin VAMP! {season 4 premiers tonight}{life resumes tonight}

three. Why a cup of carrots and cup of hot chocolate this morning has proven to be the best breakfast that I've had in the last three months?

four. Why I have so much bloody homework over fall break?

five. Why my body is so angry at me for eating twelve pumpkin cookies last night?

six. How Adele's single is equally as amazing as her last three. God bless that woman.

seven. Why I can never remember what is the singular and plural forms of woman? women? kill me.

eight. How missionary letters are the sole purpose of my existence?

nine. Why I tried to convince myself of dieting because I may meet Harry Potter one day?

ten. Why I'm wearing knee high socks? tramp.

eleven. Why my roommate decided to watch The Walking Dead for the last twenty-seven hours therefore producing terrible sound effects in my dream last night?

twelve. Whether or not Nick from New Girl is sexy?

thirteen. Why I'm always greeted by the following phrase, "ohh..it was lazy day for yeah wasn't it?"

fourteen. Why I'm seriously contemplating donating plasma on a monthly basis as my income?

fifteen. How all these flippin' asians sneak these ridiculously cute dogs on campus?

Goal for the week:

think more like an asian

when hailey came around the mountain

 

 

Can you guess who came in town?

 

  

My best frannnnn!! It was a weekend full of fun, laughs, broken ankles and cold noses! It sucks that I didn't GoPro {shout out to Elder Smith in Aussie} the entire weekend because quite frankly, it ain't something you can put into words. Sometimes we talk, sometimes we don't, but more often than not, we watch movies. A lot a lot alot aaaloottt of movies. In fact, we, the dynamic duo, would argue that going to the movie theatre to see just ONE movie, is simply ridiculous. In fact, if you aint' there to watch at least TWO movies, you should probably go home. So, yes, we saw Pitch Perfect and Taken 2 with only a 20 minute break between the two. And let me tell yea..

 

IT WAS BLOODY BRILLIANT!

 

Not only did both movies equally satisfy but the company did as well. Nothing like buddies and Fat Amy getting shot by a burrito. You know, there is one thing I appreciate about Hailey and that's she keeps me in check. Example #9873 how she saved me from total embarrassment and social suicide in my new home town. I will admit that recently, I've grown attracted to men with long hair. Not like the hair that has "wings" coming off their hat, but like shoulder length. I know. What's happening to me? Eh oh well, if President Obama advocates change, so shall I!! {not} Back to the story, there we were, sitting in the movie theatre when this long hair haired beauty comes walking up the stairs! Boo ya! Eye candy! Well the closer he got, the more excited I got so I eagerly showed Hailey, my partner in crime, the creature I had discovered.

 

There is nothing more heartbreaking than to have your best friend tell you that your hunk of man candy is a straight up woman.

 

A fail at its finest.
{movies theatres are dark yea know}

 

So, this is to you HailBails! Thanks for always reminding me where my sanity lies! & telling me when I'm not funny. But more than anything, sippin' on  ICEE's when it's 50 degress outside. After all, ICEE's are the most important food group.

 

Come again!