college

Watch this commerical again. Cause I know you've seen it hundreds of time.

 

 

Great huh?

 

Now watch what happens when you don't want to do homework.

 

 

 

College.



wet boxers

I'll make this quick, but if you're lucky, you'll walk away with a good story to share at the dinner table.

Okay so for starters picture this.

 

Well actually, you don't have to picture it because I have a picture of it! So just looky there! So, here I am... snuggled up in one of the famous womb chairs in the library {more on those later} minding my own business. Now with these womb chairs it is not unusual to see people unconscious and completely passed out in them. Once again, just sitting there, working on my homework when this dude springs up so high I swear he be hittin' the flippin' ceiling. All of a sudden this look of complete disgust comes across his face as if he just crapped his pants. This poor dude thought he was late for his class. He looked at his watch and started CRYING! Hahahaha this kid was so screwed up. He double checked his watch reassuringly and immediately passed out.

I'm still convinced he sitting there with crap in his panties.

 

 

ashlynn. i'm not your mom.

I think that if I don't get this up on a weekly basis, someone is going to shoot me in my sleep. No joke. I have had threats. Especially after I screwed up & didn't post on Monday like I said I would.

So I'm sorry. But I'm trying to get an edchamacation? Sue me!

Anyways, finished my first full week of college & this is how I'm feeling.

Yippee kaayyy ayyy! I love 15 hours of homework with all my heart--I really do. I sometimes wonder if my teachers know that I give up my life for them? Cause I do. Me roommate, Natalie, said something really wise the other day.

 

"Ashlynn! At this point, you're going to college because you WANT to!"

Oh crap guys...she is right. So wise she is ain't she? But rather than talking in inconvenient paragraphs, I'm going to do bullet points. Because I like bullet points & they like me.

my week in a nutshell

• My momma sent me a whole thing of banana bread and I ate all of it within 24 hours. Like, I don't even remember eating it?
• I PETTED A DOGGIE! Some chick snuck her pups onto campus '& oh boy did I take advantage of that. I petted those doggies until she told me to stop. But I didn't stop. I have problems.
• I watched Pride & Prejudice 2 times in 12 hours. I told my self that I would do my homework after I watched the 2nd time, but I decided bathing for the week would probably be better.
• My roommate eats Top Romen everyday. So guess what our dorm smells like? College.
• I call my roommate Mommy. Cause I miss my mommy.
• Someone made a BYU joke at the pulpit at church & I've never heard such laughter in my life. I suppose you bleed red or they'll prove your blood is red {like hurt you. get it?}
• I fell down the stairs again. My ankle is starting to swell. Girls Camp 2010 all over again. Anyone anyone?

Anywhoo. I was totally kidding about analyzing my new friends. I would totally look like a total..like brat? (I've met roughly 20 chicks that talk that way while I've been here & I'm going to pull the hair of the next one. It's going down) But bottom line. I lovin' my new friends. They are all so dang unique.  I'll post more individual stories later on, but enjoy my pics for now! And no, they still have not gotten used to my laugh.

 

 



 



 



 

 

 As you can see, we've got it all. Someone of them aren't pictures cause they have been running away from my camera... but you know

 

Well frick guys. Looks like I may not be a social reject after all?

 

 

PS> No but seriously. My next post is going to to blow your mind.

 

PSS> Check out my dear friend's blog. She is super insightful. http://iharpyou.wordpress.com/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Guys, I think we're acting like freshman"

College. Who knew this was going to be the best years of my life? Okay, I did. But I certainly wasn't expecting to fall this hard in love with college! The people...the diversity...the opportunities... & above all, the new babe pool! Yeah you heard me--new babe pool! Men. EVERYWHERE. Wanna know the best part about them? They have faces and bodies that resemble Grecian Gods. Yummy mummy. Speaking of mothers... I miss my Mommy. I really miss eating food.

So as for the post title and first week of college, boy do I have stories for you! To start off, I thought maybe I would tell a story that will give you a quick flash back of me if you can't remember who I am. So. I'm just chillin' in the bathroom {whatever. fairly normal} and I'm just setting up my cute bathroom accessories. Well, trash can placement was next on my bathroom to-do list! A simple and easy task right? Just place the dang trash can on the floor Ashlynn? Well no, I had to make things ten times more complicated and painful for myself by hitting my head on the corner of the metal shelf on my way down. Well, crap there came the tears. I don't think I've ever been in more pain. I thought for sure I had a concussion. Or maybe I was having a heart attack? It kinda felt like liver fail too... anyways. It sucked & I walked around with a goose egg and bruise on my forehead for the first week. Instead of signing up for social suicide with that ridiculous story, I told people that I survived a shark attack. You can find the footage on tonight's special of Shark Week on Discovery Channel at 7/9c. This is no lie.

Okay maybe I'll only tell one story and stick to some of my philosophical discoveries I've come to realize this last week. I discovered, for one, that you have thousands of choices to make in a day, and even one wrong choice will effect the remainder of the choices for the day. Example: You get that second bowl of ice-cream at lunch, you will throw up at your first college dance party? Hey it happened to me, it can happen to you! So lesson time I suppose!

Lesson #2: Eating that second bowl of ice-cream will always be worth the bodily function humiliation.

Lastly, I learned that where ever you go, you will find the coolest of people and the worst of people at the same time in the same time. You find the posers, the drunks, the pure, the shy, the obnoxious, the dedicated, the self-consumed, the beautiful, the strange, the weak, the strong and the ones who are still trying to find themselves in this crazy game of life. I'm willing to bet that where ever YOU go, you will find this same demographic and then some. Who ever you are and where ever you are going in life--decide now that you will be the one that decides to stand above the crowd of cliche'. Be better than your good, and stronger than your strongest. Limit nothing and reach for those famous stars. I hear they never let yea down.

Surround yourself with people that remind you of the goodness and sweetness of a mothers moist cho-co-choc-co chip cookie. Maybe even a glass of milk to accompany that good company?

Did I get deep? I sure did! Take it all in folks! Ashlynn is changing the world with her food analogies & no one can stop me!


PS> Look for the special post tomorrow where I take my new friends and anazlye them pubically for the world to see! You won't want to miss it!
PSS>They're beautiful human beings indeed. So boys. I WILL be posting pictures.

water pressure & thunder

Yesterday, I was a mere mortal living in Gilbert, Arizona with all but the best of times riding with me in the backseat of my Volks-Wagon Bug & today, unfortunately, I'm still a mortal, but instead I'm bathing in the beauty of the Great Salt Lake with nothing but a meal plan & my collectors wand. I feel like I've under-gone surgery and have been rewired to a completely foriegn life. {Total Recal anyone?} But it's strange...not feeling the same... I feel....bloated. Yeah, that's what I feel. This freaking "eat-crap-food-until-I-can't-feel-or-see-my-toes-thing" is not going to last very long! I'm gunna have to lock up my food and have my roomate come up with the password--yeah I'll do that.

Speaking of roommates.. Haven't meant her yet! I'm sitting on my bed eagerly waiting her arrival so that I can apologize for the lack of space and control I’ve given her in our (my) room. As for my suite roomies, one girl moved in and out in 5 minutes & the other is moving in as we speak! She is a local folk and seems like spunky nice girl. Exxxcceppptt for the fact that her motha was wearing a Lakers shirt. I made sure to let her know that I was still pretty pissed about her stealing my main man Nash. Come to find out she doesn't like Lakers and doesn't even know who Nash is....awkward. So, lesson number one I'm teaching in this blog?

Lesson #1: If you don't know who Steve Nash is. Figure it out.

Anywhoo. This will be my journal for the next 4-10 years of college so I suggest you subscribe. Cause let's face it. I'll have my own TV show pretty soon because I'm freaking hilarious.

In my head.

& that's all that matters.

                                                                                                           opening dorm for first time

Sendin' love and morphine to those enduring those long hot AZ days.

<oh. & as for my title. there is no water pressure in my shower & I can hear every step of the seemingly obese human being above me. love it.>

but who's counting?

You know, there is a lot of things that I would do a solid piece of cheesecake. Especially, a nice slice made by my mother herself. I mean, honestly, how does she get it so moist? Anyhoo. Seeing as I'm down to 28 days til' college departure, I thought it seemed most appropriate to have a blog up in order to stalk me over the next 4-10 years {we're shooting for 4}.

University of Utah folks.

University of freaking Utah.

Ah, aint' that a beauty? Who knew that a high school addict like myself would find herself heading into the real world...with her shoes on the right feet! I mean come on America! What a blessing, indeed... But yeah, 28 days! Whoohoo! Doin' the shopping, doing the Fbook roommate stalk seshin's and of course, the "working" part. Let me make this realll clear. Work sucks--at least mine does. 60 hrs a week later, I find myself simply wanting to do something severely immature to make up for my lack of a personality during the day. An office can sure suck the life out of you. Nonetheless, I SHALL SURVIVE!

Until the fateful day arrives, I will continue to bask in this lovely 129 degree weather, play simple yet very advanced games of fetch with my furry friends and indulge in the free food provided by father! What a joyous time to be Ashlynn McCarter!

Well, the Hermonie&Ron kissing soon is coming up soon so I must tend my attention elsewhere. Hopefully you enjoy my smartie-pants attitute and optimistic view on life! Ha.

If you're looking for some REAL laughs, check out my older blog as a wee ameature. Wow, I was odd. Funny? Hyes. But odd  http://thatcrazysonofagun.blogspot.com/ 

PS>Forgive the formating issues.

I bid thee farewell. {why the crap am I talking like this?}